The Real Working Mom

I can do it. I can volunteer for that shift. Don't worry about it, I'll bring it. What can i do to help?

Does this sound like you? Because it definitely sounds like me! I am a full-time working mom that works from home. Sounds ideal, wonderful, perfect. And at times it is. However I feel this certain obligation to ALL (not one) of my son's activities to be an active part of it because I do have a pretty flexible schedule.

My son just started kindergarten and already I have joined the PTA, volunteered about 7 hours of my time, plan to be "mystery reader" once a month, and am one of two "Room Parents" for his class (meaning I get to organize everything for their class and then some).

Baseball - I am the Team Mom and again am in charge of making sure lists are sent out designating snack schedules for the parents, helping with photographs, and just being there in general to help out.

I know that I am putting all of this stress on myself, but I can't help it! i feel this need, almost calling, to be THAT involved. I know that I can't do it all, but darn it a part of me believes I can. Why do we put this pressure on ourselves?

Well, I must say....thank goodness for the vino! If I am still blogging come Christmas, you'll know that I have survived :)

There are many times where I look around my house and "Chaos" screams from my mind! Between the kids fighting, the TV blaring, the little Matchbox cars that I step on every time I turn around, and the constant "mom....mom....mom..." There are many times I just want to scream. However, I instead turn on the TV and find some reality television! I am among many people throughout the world that tune in almost every night for some reality TV. My reason for watching it though, might not be the same as other peoples. I personally watch these train wreck shows to make me feel better about my crazy family! For example, I watch the folllowing shows for the following reasons:

"Daisy of Love" (and other trashy dating shows) = makes me appreciate my husband quite a bit more (despite that he has yet to find where the hamper is!)

"SuperNanny" = when my kids act out horribly, I can always say that I have seen other children act worse!

"Survivor" = just when I think I can't bear to change another stinky explosion of a diaper, I watch this show to remind me it could be worse.

"American Idol" (the auditions) = makes me smile at hearing my 5 year old sing "5 Little Monkeys" for the 100th time instead of listening to these people!

"Keeping up with the Kardashians" = And I thought MY family was crazy!

"So you think you can dance" (tryouts!) = my 20 month old dances better than some of them! Makes me think he might have some rhythm after all!

"Wife Swap" = I may be OCD about organizing, but I'm not HALF as crazy as some of those women!

Thank goodness for reality TV!

In every couple, there is one financially responsible person and one who spends like there is no tomorrow.

Guess which one I am? If you guessed the responsible one, then you win the prize! Granted, back in my younger, single days I wouldn't think twice about spending $250 on a bikini, but since becoming a wife and a mom (and also a bit of growing up), I know that there are more important things to spend my money on and save for.

Well, about 3 years ago my DH and I thought it would be wise to combine our checking accounts and savings accounts and put me in charge of keeping track of the bills, money spent, money saved, and a bit of fun money here and there. Well, all was good for a while until we began to argue every now and then about how he couldn't access his own money and had no idea where it was going. Each time we argued, we did quickly resolve it, but it kept rearing it's ugly head. Three years later, we are still arguing and at the end of the rope with all the bickering. And honestly, this is probably the ONLY thing we ever argue about!

So, after three years of this, we are going back to split accounts and sharing the bills. Who is to say that one person is more responsible than the other, and honestly, why should one person have to "report" to the other? Personally, I think this is going to relieve a HUGE amount of stress that I put on myself and overall improve our relationship.

Why? Because once he's run out of his money I can laugh and say "I told you so!"

Am I offering my second child the same educational stimulations as my first?

What a hard question for a parent to have to ask themselves, but it's an incredibly honest one with a very hard answer to hear. My answer would be "no." With my first child I had time to make sure we set aside time to learn colors, numbers, alphabet, and so on. He very rarely watched television except for educational shows only and even then I limited the time he spent watching it.

3 1/2 years later arrived our 2nd son, along with a job change, and an increased calendar activity for the entire family. From Day 1, I feel like I haven't been able to give him the attention that I gave our first child (which I understand is normal given the circumstances), but is it acceptable? My poor little guy has been running from Pre-K activities, to karate, to baseball since he was 1 week old (he's now 19mo). He watches much more television than my older son at his age, and even knows the "Spongebob Squarepants" theme song! He has learned how to count to 3, by hearing my use of the "I'm only going to count to 3" threat with our oldest son! Educational....maybe in it's own sense! LOL!

I know in my heart that a lot of parents face this with subsequent children, but does it get any easier on your conscience? Children are obviously able to make up for this lack on the parents part because I am a middle child and I turned out just fine. Thank goodness for these wonderful teachers at our schools :)

And my next question is.....what happens with child #3 or #4? By that time the child will be teaching themselves how to change their own diaper! LOL!

Do you know the song "Where have all the cowboys gone?" Well, my song would be "Where have all my weekends gone?"

As a full-time working mom, I find myself sitting at my desk on usually a Wednesday afternoon thinking "how much longer until the weekend?!?" And then when the weekend finally arrives, I find myself running around even crazier than I am at work! Between baseball, karate, playdates, birthday parties, family obligations, school functions, social functions, and errands, the weekend is gone!! I quickly find myself back at Monday even more exhausted then I was on Friday!

Now, I've had the thought "Hey, slow down, take a breather." However, I feel an obligation to my children to offer them the best life opportunities there are and each of these activities teach them motor skills, listening, discipline and socialization. So that's means practices during the week and games and birthday parties on the weekend. It also includes dragging my youngest to each activity and praying he won't throw a temper tantrum or bite someone. Definitely NOT my idea of a great after work activity for ME. However DH (Dear Husband in my lingo world) often has to work late, leaving me with all the extras.

Now, you would think Sundays would be a bit less hectic, however that is reserved for house cleaning day! Between two children and a husband, I end up with about 5 loads of laundry to wash, dry, fold, and put away, along with the weekly mopping, toilet scrubbing, tub cleaning, and vacuuming. And this comes with any family obligations in between.

Are women born with a clause in their birth certificate stating that once we get married and/or have children (whichever may come first), we are denied any and all personal rights on the weekend? I am seriously going to look into this!! LOL!

Now, I absolutely adore my Dh and my boys, but there are times when I can almost remember sleeping in past 7am, getting dolled up to have a night out on the town with my DH, and reading a book from start to finish in a single day. I wouldn't trade my boys for the world, but hey, it's nice to reminisce sometimes :)

Until then...."Up, Up and Away!!" Superwoman is headed to bed!